The Courage Process
I want to introduce you to the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Process of healing along your grief journey. The road is not easy, and it will seem never-ending, but if you have the courage to take the first step, even if it is a tiny step, you can begin to heal your broken heart and tackle the enormous task of raising your children alone one day at a time. We can’t snap our fingers and make everything be okay (oh, how I wish we could). Instead, it is a daily choice to survive and keep going in our grief journey.
The “C” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process of healing through grief is to create space to grieve. You may be thinking, “I am already grieving, it is constant, and never goes away. Yes, that is true, but creating space for you to grieve and heal in a healthy way will help you heal on a much deeper level inside, at the heart level.
The “O” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process is to organize your life. When we talk about organizing our lives, we think of keeping the house organized and tidy. But, in the case of grieving, being mentally and physically organized will aid in the healing process.
The “U” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process is to understand that grief is a process and that you are not alone. Understanding that grief takes time and there is no timetable to complete it will help you along the journey. Just because you are not where you thought you would be or where others think you should be by a certain time does not mean you are a failure.
The”R” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process is remembering your loved one and reflecting on your life together. I don’t want you to live in the past, because that is not healthy, but I do want you to take some time to remember and reflect on the life you had with your spouse.
The “A” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process is to accept the reality of the situation and where you are along your grief journey. Once we get to the point in our journey through grief where we can accept the reality that our spouse is no longer with us in their physical body, but they will always be with us in our hearts, then we can begin to feel a little glimmer of peace.
The “G” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process is to be grateful as you move along your grief path and raise your children. I know what you are thinking. How can I be grateful for losing someone I loved so much, when the pain is so intense? Well, that is a good question and one I struggled with for many years.
The “E” in the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. process is to feel the emotions, recognize them when they come, and heal through the pain. Remember that analogy of grief being like an ocean with waves of emotions like fear, anger, sadness, guilt, disappointment, and shame that can come at any time and in no order.